Debutants & Sweat Pants

HAPPY MONDAY!!!  (note the dripping sarcasm)

I'm seriously NOT happy that the long weekend is over.  After 4 days of laying around like beached whale, devouring leftovers in my favorite pair of bleached spotted 15 y/o sweat pants and 20 y/o sweat shirt, I DID NOT want to be here today.  And it doesn't help that it's pointing towards a slow day which causes a shift in space/time making my 9 hours to feel like 14!

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I have a new neighbor that lives in the condo below me.  He's a strapping young twenty-something who bartends at a local night club on weekends.  I've seen various young tramps ladies coming and going in the wee hours of the morning in their whorish outfits lovely evening attire.  But this weekends conquest was a genuine debutant, leaving at a respectable 8:30 (not too early to be sneaking out, not to late so as to not seem needy to the young man), donning one of his t-shirts, a pair of sneakers, a black micro-mini…… carrying her clip-on hair.  I SHIT YOU NOT!!!  Ho mama was waving around the faux locks while jabbering on the phone.  No doubt talking to one of her friends that she ditched at the bar to bone the bartender.  Class act!!! 

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Well, it's official.  I'm going on a strict diet.  After the above mentioned laying around this weekend, I gained 3 more pounds.  That's a total of 14 lbs this year.  While some of you may feel 14lbs. Is a drop in the bucket, 14lbs. On my short ass…. NOT COOL.  The thing is - we're broke as a haint and diet food is expensive as shit.  I have 2 pair of pants that I can squeeze into and no money to be wasting on clothes.  Especially when I have a closet full of perfectly fine clothes, I just need to loose about 10 lbs. to get in them!!!  I really need to join Weight Watchers again, but that's not going to happen.  I think I'll just try and cut the beer out.  Me and Sugar Britches went through almost 2 cases this weekend.  That's a shit load of beer for 2 people.  But hey, we're rednecks, it's what we do.